“Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?”37 And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. 38 This is the great and first commandment. 39 And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. Matthew 22:36-39 ESV
My wife and I were having a conversation the other day about something that happened to the both of us. As we were talking about the situation, I kept referring to how it affected me. It was not that I didn’t think she was having a hard time with it too, but I kept saying the word “Me”. She finally looked at me and said to quit making it about “Me”.
Oh, how it is always about the “Me”. Think about the polls that we listen to during the election season that never seems to end. The questions are designed to get feedback from people about issues or candidates, but most all responses come from how the issues or people running for office will affect the “Me”. People say they love change and that is usually true as long as the changes are initiated by us or our ideology. It’s still about the “Me” in the equation.
When we do our devotions and spend time with God in prayer, what is the focus? I would like to say it is about feeding the hungry, saving the lost, and taking care of widows and orphans. But the truth would reveal more of my prayer time is about me. Now, praying for yourself is not wrong. God cares about us, and we should care about us too. Scripture is solid on thinking well and taking good care of you. “Me” is not bad, but it can be consuming in our conversations and relationships with others. Ask my wife. She will tell you how often “Me” is inserted and she is not referring to herself.
Jesus when asked about the greatest commandment gets right to the point. Love God with everything you have and when you do that, then do it for others as well. You really cannot do one without the other. Serving, giving, praying for, helping, visiting. You get the picture. Loving God connects us to His heart that loves others. For God loved the world so much that He gave His Son. Love gives. Love shares. Love thinks about how others are affected about what is going on in the world. Love gives to missions and sends missionaries. Love helps others get back up. Love does what is inconvenient and doesn’t fit into the nice pattern of organized religion. Love is not reserved for Sunday. Love goes beyond your cause and cares about the causes important to others.
I could simply end the thought right here, but that would be predictable. Do this, do that, and everything will be ok. Then we start the behavior change, and that lasts a week. I heard there are incredible health benefits from developing a heart of gratitude. It takes something like 25 days straight to form that healthy habit. I thought to myself I could do that. I would love to be more thankful and feel better too. I lasted a day. Life got busy and I returned to my mental habits that focus a lot on the “Me” instead of being thankful for “Thee”. Transformation is an inside job. It starts with my heart and works its way out to others. Here are three things I am applying to my life that can help yours, as well, to not be so “Me” focused.
Keep things in order.
Stay close to the source of love. God is love, and my time with Him is valuable. The closer I get in my worship to Him, the more my life is filled with His desires. He cares about my needs and promises to meet them, but the closer I am to the Father’s heart, the more I see the needs of others that He sees.
Be a conduit not a container.
My times of intimacy with God can be me filling myself like a container or it can be times of refreshing that keep me as the conduit of His love flowing through me. I can be like the container of leftovers in the refrigerator, or I can be that cuisine that is fresh from Heaven that feeds the hungry soul. Feast on His Word, digest it and meditate on it. Apply and see it bring benefits to your life. But keep the gate open for others to receive from you what God has given.
Give yourself grace as you grow.
God is not hung up on you focusing on you. We all have our seasons where we can get self-focused. There are days, weeks maybe even months when you need to spend the energy on yourself to stay or get healthy to help others. Self-care is needed. The closer you get to God the more you will know the difference of the seasons of the soul. Don’t allow shame or guilt to take you out or cause you to try to be a spiritual superhero. Instead, abide in Jesus and the fruit will come when it is needed. Chill.